Social media and dating apps have become one of the main spaces for building relationships. The data shows the scale of this change: one in three Poles (33%) use dating apps, and a total of over 6 million internet users in Poland use dating websites and apps. This is no longer a niche, but a mass emotional experience. Today, love functions in two parallel worlds: offline and online. Flirting, first conversations and building emotional tension increasingly begin in the digital space. Valentine's Day fits perfectly into this logic 鈥� photos of flowers, dinners and shared moments flood social media. It is not only a desire to show off to others, but also a need to tell a story about a relationship and communicate: 鈥淚 am important in someone's life.鈥� At the same time, love also begins to function as a marketing message 鈥� aesthetic, repeatable and easy to 鈥減ackage鈥� into a product, trend or a format.
Algorithm, performance and the uneven game of emotions
New media not only connect people, but also change the dynamics of relationships. In dating apps, relationships are selected, filtered and optimised by algorithms. The data shows a clear imbalance: for every woman using the app, there are almost two men (approx. 2.2 million women compared to 3.9 million men). This affects the way both sides communicate, their expectations and their sense of self-worth. Love becomes a performance 鈥� relationships are not only experienced but also presented. Algorithms reward a specific style of storytelling about feelings: fast, visually appealing, emotional. Valentine's Day reinforces this effect, creating a moment of intense visibility of relationships, but also pressure to compare. Perfect images begin to normalise what love 鈥渟hould鈥� look like.
Generations date differently and are tired of it
Today, Gen Z and millennials make up the largest group of dating app users. In the 18-29 age group in the US, over 60% of people said they used dating apps, which shows that for young adults, digital dating is the norm, not an alternative. The paradox is that despite their enormous popularity, the effectiveness of these apps is often low. Studies show that about half of Tinder users have no intention of going on a date. Apps are increasingly used for flirting, killing boredom, boosting self-esteem or confirming one's attractiveness, not necessarily for building real relationships. Experts are increasingly talking about the phenomenon of 鈥渄ating burnout.鈥� An excess of choice, repetitive conversations and emotional fatigue are causing users to seek alternative ways of meeting people that are more authentic, slower and less algorithmic.
Artificial intelligence and emotional support
Artificial intelligence is increasingly filling this gap. AI helps match partners, analyses preferences, suggests responses and sometimes even acts as an emotional companion. Chatbots and virtual partners offer conversation without judgment, pressure or the risk of rejection. This is not so much competition for human relationships as it is a sign of how much the modern world suffers from a deficit of attention and presence. AI exposes the need to be heard 鈥� even if the interlocutor is an algorithm.
Valentine's Day as an emotional market
Valentine's Day remains one of the most commercialised moments of the year. Love becomes a seasonal marketing narrative and emotions become the fuel for sales. Brands sell not products, but promises: of closeness, uniqueness and the feeling that we are 鈥渄oing enough鈥� for our relationships. New media reinforce this mechanism, as advertising algorithms target emotionally sensitive moments. Consumption is inscribed in the language of love and gifts become emotional shortcuts. The problem begins when symbols replace conversation and gestures replace presence. Valentine's Day in the age of new media is a mirror of contemporary relationships. It shows the tension between emotion and algorithm, authenticity and performance, closeness and the market. Technology has not taken away love, it has only changed the way we experience it. Perhaps today, the greatest Valentine's Day gesture is not a perfect photo or an expensive gift, but a thoughtful conversation. Not a perfect post, but a real presence. In the world of new media, love remains the most human experience, even if it increasingly begins on a screen.
Author: Dr Kinga Stopczy艅ska
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